It all began with an innocent email requesting anyone whose garden is inundated with zucchini, or any other type of fresh grown vegies, and whom might want to relieve themselves of an over abundance of produce, to please give me a heads up and I'd be happy to take it off their hands. It was a plea of compassion from my dehydrator and canner, as they have been unemployed for much too long a time and needed to find work..quickly!
I had several answers that they did not do a garden this year---one was traveling, and one lived in a condo, so that was out. Then my friend John called and said innocentlyl enough "Hey would you like some bananas?" Seems his partner David had a thing with one of the markets that if they had produce that needed to be taken off the shelves as had gone past its prime for sale, they gave it to him for his compositing. He has, (due to this and becoming practically erotic over finding bags of leaves beside the road, also taking them home to his composite heap), the best garden soil and the most abundant organic garden of anyone I know.
Not being one to look a gift (free) horse in the mouth, I said yes to the bananas. So we met at Costco that evening and along with some Dubliner cheese and omeprazole OTC, I took home 40 pounds of bananas.
In case you don't know it, that's one hell of a lot of f..cking bananas!! And also in case you didn't know it, 2 huge boxes of monkey food in a 31' RV is REALLY aromatic. The esthers (explained by my hubby) were intoxicating. But I didn't care. I was in banana rama heaven. So I began processing the bananas. I pulled the dehydrator out of the shed, and proceeded to slice up bananas, filling all 5 trays. While peeling and slicing, the bananas that seemed a bit too ripe for the dehydrator went into another bowl. Or, they were put into snack sized zip bags, 3 to a bag as that's the amount needed for my banana bread recipe from the original The Silver Palate cookbook. This is by far the best banana bread recipe I've ever tasted. The addition of whole wheat flour enhances the flavor with a nutty layer that is so good with the bananas, and also with the walnuts. And it will be in this blog. These bags went into the freezer. And I went to bed after dealing with 14 pounds of the bananas and having a long way to go. When I got home, I sliced 8 pounds of bananas and put them on the dehydrator. The rush to process prior to over ripeness has begun!
The next day hubby took 6 pounds of bananas to the laundry mat with him to give to Les and Marge and another lady there. I went off to work, but upon arriving home began working on the bananas again. I turned over the chips to get them to dry faster, and made 2 loaves of banana bread. The making of banana bread had begun. Flour, sugar, butter, whole wheat flour, vanilla, and of course 2 boxes of bananas, littered my already somewhat disshevled RV. Now every inch of table, counter space, couch & floor space, were eaten up by pans, food, and cooking paraphenalia. Plus tomorrow was the hubby's birthday!
So, we went out to Denny's for breakfast the next morning, after giving him his Star Wars card and his new watch, as part of my fun little birthday celebration for him. I named it the OLD FART'S FREEBIE BIRTHDAY BASH. He later changed it to the Freebie Birthday Banana Bash for obvious reasons. But we had a nice breakfast, and then had to go to several stores and places to pick up groceries, perscriptions, canning jars, a strainer and a large muffin tin. At each place we went, I took a photo to chronicle his birthday. When we got home, I was going to take him to a freebie birthday movie, but alas after looking at all the choices, he decided there wasn't any he'd like to see and would rather take a nap. At this time it occurred to me that he just might poop out on me for the rest of the list of freebies I had managed to put together for his special day.
But being as he was taking a nap, I used the time for more adventures in bananaville. To that end, loaves of banana bread were baked, 2 banana cakes, one loaf of gluten free banana bread using coconut flour as an experiment was made--the patient died. However, I think I may have come up with a new building material that would be impervious to any kind of weather and have an R factor of 98.
Then I made b.b. (banana bread) and baked it in 1 pint wide mouthed canning jars. I got this idea from my wonderful friend and super gardener Iris, as this is how she makes and stores her persimmon bread. Now, there are several secrets to making this a success. First and foremost, don't fill the jars over 1/2 full. The bread expands as it cooks, and if you put in too much it will rise over the top of the edge and you can't get the damn canning lids on it! Yes, the first batch had to be trimmed off with a very sharp serated knife so as not to mess up the bread. But then you put on the lid and the band, and screw down the band tightly, and in a few moments you are rewarded with the unmistakeable "thunk" of the jars sealing. The bread can be kept in the pantry for over a year, thus not taking up room in the freezer, or getting freezer burn and dryingout. The other secret is before you fill them, you MUST grease the insideof the jars very well. If not, you may have to eat the bread out of the jar with a spoon. Also, be SURE to use only a wide mouth jar, because again, if you use a regular jar, you will not be able to get the bread out and will end up having to eat it out of the jar with a spoon.
A dozen jars are now in the pantry. Eight with Banana Bread--No Nutes 8/15/o9, and four with Banana Bread w/Pecans 8/15/09 on their labels. Four loaves of bread and 2 cakes are also cooling on the table, with more baggies in the freezer, and a bowl of mashed bananas that are turning a rather disgusting shade of brown, is still on the counter. At this juncture, hubby wakes up, and we decide to go get him his freebie ice cream cone from Baskin Robbins, along with the requisite photo of him enjoying it. I opt for a diet lime aid from Sonic,which when I got to pick it up, sloshes all over me and the floor of the car as the lid was not on tightly. Sigh!!
After that and a little ride to the post office, we are again back home. Roy is making noises about the smell of the bananas--later he will say that's why he was in a stupor and weinied out on all the fun birthday activities of the evening,but I know that's such crap. He's just a party pooper.
So alas, we did not go to Dry Gulch Steakhouse for his freebie birthday dinner; we did not meet tons of friends at Coyoto Joe's to listen to Cheektones, and we did not go to the movies. Safeway's offer of a free birthday movie rental was null and void as they have since gone to the big red box where you pick you movie, put in your debit/credit card, and take it home to watch. Since it belongs to a private business, not Safeway, the offer has gone by the wayside.
So, back to sleep for him, and more bananas for me. I removed the 5 trays from the dehydrator and put the crunchy little banana chip morsels into a glass gallon jar I had purchased, and began slicing up more bananas. This time I notice that even more bananas are ripe then for the last batch, so more go into zip bags for the freezer. Another batch of canning jar bread is made, and a batch of The Big Banana muffins are made using a particular obnoxious baking pan where the individual portions are shaped like penises. These I figured I'd give to a couple of equally demented friends of mine...rather like me. I also take 6 pounds of bananas to other people in the park who said they'd love them to make banana bread. Rats, there go 6 people whom I could have given away banana bread to!!
Sunday I give Roy 2 loaves of banana bread to take with him to his BBC..Boys' Breakfast Club...get together. Lou & Hank each got some, but alas Jack had to be told of the GF Banana Bread debaucle. I was good to him and hadn't sent the brick b.b. to him, but had fed it to the garbage can. Everyone is better off! While he was gone, I dispatched a few items of clutter around the house, made sure all the dishes were washed and caught up, frosted 1 of the banana cakes and sent it to Mindy, removed another batch of dehydrated banana chips to the jar and filled up the dehydrator again, and realized I had not made the Blue Cheese & Bacon quiche which I had told Francesco at the Sacred Bean I would bring to him that day. SO bananas were put on the back burner. At this point, I have to admit I'm getting damn sick of dealing with bananas and am thinking that the Salvation Army or Heritage Park Zoo might be amicable or even ecstatic to receiving the rest of the quickly browning banana-esther admitting bananas.
I made 6 individual quiches resplendent with soft velvety blue cheese batter with chunks of smokey bacon and chives. The crust was strong but flakey, and they came out perfectly. I called Roy and told him not to run the errands I'd asked him to do after breakfast, but to come right how. He did, and we took one of the quiche to Francesco. However, he was not there today until late afternoon, so had to leave it there for him to enjoy later. We sat and talked to George for awhile and met Kevin. Then ran to Fry's market to pick up some vegies and other items for making kimchee, Spinach & Ricotta ravioli, and canning dilly beans, pickled carrots, pickled hot cauliflower, and other canned delights for the pantry. Fall is in the air, and my thoughts turn to putting up the abundance of the harvest for the cold bleak days of winter. I am such a frustrated farmer's wife at heart!
After marketing, we went by friends Scott & Gigi to give her back a book she'd lent me (Don't Sweat The Small Stuff At Work---if you fantasize about how you are going to quit your job, where you're going to tell your boss to shove it, or squeezing the life out of your boss with you bare hands, this is MUST reading. Thank you Gigi...you've calmed down my baser instincts dramatically), and to leave her a couple of the Bleu Cheese Bacon quiches. Gigi is crazy over bacon. And after making her bacon muffins for her birthday, I found out she did indeed adore bleu cheese also, so this was a match made in heaven for this crazy little woman (not from Kansas City, but did 2 weeks of training there recently). Alas, they were not home. But since we house/dog sit for them on occassion, we had the key, so left a phone message about breaking and entering, and that we'd left the book and goodies for them on the little table just inside the front entry, and we had taken precautions to their privacy by opening the door just a crack and hollering in to make sure they were indeed not at home so we wouldn't walk in if mad monkey sex were taking place, and apologized profusely for being so blatant as to use our key when we were not house sitting, but just didn't want to make another trip across town but did want to leave them the goodies. Hopefully they are still our friends and won't have us arrested for this rather bold act.
Upon arriving back home, I had to agree that the banana smell was becoming quite overwhelming. Our saving grace was that gorillas, organgutans, or vicious chimpanzees did not live in the forest behind us, or we would certainly have been attacked and ripped apart in their frenzy from smelling all of these bananas. I'd had it with the banana marathon at this point, figured we had plenty of back up for the winter, and so took the final 7 pounds of banans to Dan to feed to his little zoo of raccoons, skunks, squirrels, javelina, and whatever else found its way to his home during his feedings. Alas, they are gone!!
John had called on Saturday to wish Roy happy birthday, and left a closing remark as to whether I was out selling banana creme pies on the street. Damn!! I hadn't thought about banana creme pies! Maybe Dan hadn't fed them to the critters yet???? Let it go, let it go!!!
So with the bananas out of our home, amd the bleu cheese quiche delivered, I proceeded to shove a can of Hansen's mandarin lime all natural soda (didn't have a can of beer) up a fryer's ass after covering it with Cinnamon Chipotle rub, and put it on the bbq to cook. Then I made a Zucchini & Onion tart with a cornflake bottom and crunchy top to go with the chicken. Instead of monterry jack I used Dubliner cheese. Much more flavorful with that sharp white cheddar tang of a good aged cheese. It was delicious. This is a fabulous side dish, or a main course along with a salad and some good bread, especially for my vegetarian friends. It was damn good with the chicken.
Well, I can now retire happy in the thought that we will have banana chips, mashed bananas for future baking, banana bread, and banana muffins all ready and waiting come the bleak winter. And that there will be some very happy raccoons tonight. Still have to find a home for the one last banana cake, and deliver the wee The Big Banana muffins to a couple of friends, but that will be easy after this weekend.
So here are the recipes from the Freebie Birthday Banana Bash and Banana Madness weekend. Enjoy. And remember folks, if you're offered 40 pounds of bananas, make sure you are ready to spend 3 days of processing and cooking time, smell like a giant ripe banana, and have weird brown stuff on a couple of cupboard doors when done.
Banana Bread from The Silver Palate Cookbook
(with some personal modifications)
1 stick butter 3/4 c. sugar 2 large eggs 1 c. all purpose flour
1 c. whole wheat flour 1 tsp. baking soda 1/2 t. salt 1 tsp. vanilla extract
3 large, ripe bananas, mashed 3/4 c. shelled walnuts, chopped coarsely
Put butter & sugar into medium large bowl and beat with electric beater until light and fluffy. Add eggs and beat until well mixed and light. Add both flours, soda, and salt. Beat again, starting mixer on low speed so flour does not "poof" everywhere. Make sure all dry ingredients are blended into creamed butter/sugar/egg mixture. Add the bananas and vanilla and beat together well. Add nuts and just mix into batter.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees farenheit. Grease a loaf pan, muffin tin for six large muffins. Line the bottom of the loaf pan with parchment or waxed paper to avoid sticking. Pour batter into chosen pan and bake for 50 minutes, or until brown and toothpick stuck in the center comes out clean. Remove from oven and let cool for 10 minutes in pan. Then remove from pan and let cool on rack til room temperature. Put into zip baggie to keep bread moist. Always better the second day as flavors have a chance to bloom and mingle. Makes 1 loaf.
BLEU CHEESE & BACON TART
(not for the timid palette for anyone who does not LOVE bleu cheese)
(from Quiche Me Quick, a self written cookbook by me!)
1 nine inch pie crust or 6 individual ramikins or a 6-unit Texas (large) muffin tin
6 oz. cream cheese (NOT low fat or fat free) 4 oz. bleu cheese 2 T. butter, softened
1/4 c. half & half 3 eggs, beaten well 1/8 t. cayenne 1/4 t. salt
1/8 t. pepper 1 T. chives (fresh and diced small) 8 slices crisply cooked bacon, diced.
Preheat oven to 375 degree. Beat cream cheese in a medium bowl until soft. Crumble in bleu cheese and beat until will blended. Add butter and beat again, incorporating into cheeses. Add half & half, eggs, caynee, salt & pepper. Beat until light and smooth. Stir in chives, except for 2 t. for topping and all but 2 T. of the bacon pieces. Bake for 20 minutes, then reduce heat to 350 and bake for 25 minutes, or until filling is puffed and browned and middle is not wet, but still soft. Remove from oven, and sprinkle with remaining chives and bacon pieces. Let cool completely on rack.
ZUCCHINI & ONION TART
(another great way to use up an abundance of zucchini from your garden)
2 large onions, chopped 4 medium zucchini, diced 1/2 cube butter (1/4 cup)
1/2 lb. Dubliner cheese or any sharp white cheddar, grated 4 eggs beaten well
1/2 t. marjoram salt & pepper to taste 2 c. corn flakes, crushed
Preheat oven to 350 degrees farenheit. Butter pie plate or 8x8 cake pan with 1 T. butter and cover with 1 1/2 c. cornflake crumbs, reserving the rest for topping. Saute onions and zucchini in remaining butter until half cooked, not completely cooked at all as will finish cooking when baked. Add marjoram, salt and pepper to zucchini/onion mixture while cooking. Add cheese to mixture, stir in well, and pour into pie pan on top of cornflake crumbs. Beat eggs until light and fluffy and pour evenly over zucchini mixture in pan. Sprinkle remaining cornflakes over top evenly, and bake until brown. Serves 8 as a side dish, or 4 as a dinner entree.
