Living in a small space has its advantages. Now there are disadvantages, to be sure, but right now I want to say the biggest advantage is the bedroom. It puts the "cuddle" into the Carlson Cuddle Coach. It has a bump out that creates a nice little alcove where the top two feet of the bed cuddles in. It's not dark and ominous, as there are small windows on each side which have shades that can be open or closed depending on time of day and season. The alcove has a shaped valance with light cherry wood on the sides to match the wood on the cabinets, vanity, and dresser. To make it even more cuddly we made one of a couple of 
stupendous decisions upon first moving in--we ousted the cheap mattress and put in a Tempurpedic knock off. Not a cheap knock off, but nothing close to the exorbitant cost of the real thing. It's supportive but delicious when the warmth and weight of your body make it supple enough to mold around you. We also have a down comforter that keeps us warm and snuggly on cold winter nights, and is covered by my gorgeous (if I say so myself) prize winning purple and white quilt (not shown in the photo...will have to get one of it and repost when I have it in place). So it's a feast to the senses in that bedroom, a nice haven on a cold rainy blustery night, or a place to stretch out and read or be with your own thoughts. Small refuges like this are needed when one lives in a small space, especially with a spouse or partner. It avoids your having to rip out their hearts in stressful times.
Now, one of the down sides is that when I wake up at 2:30 in the morning with twelve thousand things going through my mind, but I'm not in the mood to go do any of them because I don't want to get cold, I turn on my light and read for awhile. I always have a book or two, several magazines, and those little ad cards that are in magazines (and which really tick me off) under my pillows. And I have my glasses, several in fact ranging 2.0, 2.25, 2.5, 2.75, and usually 3.0, lying on a little shelf next to the bed. Now you might think well doesn't that bother Roy? Well, then you don't know Roy. Roy could sleep through a class 5 hurricane, a train wreck, the howling of banshees (or coyotes which often happens), or any number of disturbing events that would have me awake for the rest of the night. So usually, I am not being rude, as he doesn't even notice.
However, this morning was different. I awoke at a bit past 2 a.m. I laid there awhile hoping to go back to sleep, but when it became obvious that wasn't going to happen, I turned on the light, picked up my book and glasses and began to read. It wasn't long before Roy had gotten up and gone to the w.c. When he came back to bed, he was rather awake. At that time he told me his cousin had emailed him and had turned in a script/outline of a TV show to someone in Hollywood. It had been rejected but she had given him an outline of it. It was basically her life, but she had another kid who was a gay male child who was 6'6" tall. Roy surmised that it must be rough for a 6'6" gay man in the world. Because it was early in the morning, the conversation deteriorated from here.
He wondered aloud if the animal kingdom had gay animals. I said I thought most animals would just jump anything in proximity--just ask my Mom about Ernie and her foot or Sumie and Dusty's "girlfriend" pillow. I mean male dogs will hump anything any time, so does that make them gay or just horney? And I've seen those monkeys in travel adventure shows that just seem to be strolling along and then jump on another monkey and ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee, they're done! This reminds me of a couple of guys I've dated in my life...but I digress.
Well, at this point something clicked in my sick brain and these little movies started to play. I saw this big eyed bushy tailed raccoon with it's larger than life roly poly butt, standing upright with its little front paws insides facing forward sashaying through the forest. Raccoons have a propensity toward waddling rolling butts and steatopygia. This fits in perfectly with strutting and mincing steps of the gay raccoon in my mind. "What about a gay raccoon, can't you just see him strutting his little flaming self through the forest, saying "hey anyone have any nuts?" and the rest of the raccoons giving him mean looks?" And what about a gay skunk. But then why would anyone want to have a relationship with a skunk?
Do skunks mind how they smell? If I smelled like that I sure wouldn't want anyone near me much less thinking about sex. It would be "Get the hell away from me...I stink". Roy says maybe they treat the stench poofs like humans do farts. It's annoying but kinda funny, so they make bad jokes about it. "Wow, do you have to do that inside?" "Next time you better go outside if you're going to let loose like that." "Hey, pull my paw...hehehehe." Many years ago I had a brief but delightful encounter with a gentleman from Mississippi, an arts and theatre teacher who adored big women and was amazingly fun, virile and romantic. He told me of an uncle of his who had a recliner for about 25 years. It was way past its prime, but a new one was not to be tolerated. So when he finally passed into the next realm of his recliner life, his aunt had him and a cousin tote it out of the living room and into the cousin's truck to take to the dump. He said when they took the cushion off, he smelled just like ol' uncle's farts. SO my mind went to the Skunk Family home and ..."Hey don't do that in my chair. Uncle Stinky did that all the time and when he died and we had to take the chair to the dump, it smelled like skunky stench!" The sleep starved mind deteriorated from there to "I wonder if when they get old if they're like those old people who walk through the market going putt putt putt down the aisles, and they just walk through the forest going poof poof poof as their little stinky sphincters wear out too? "
By now I was in complete and utter hysteria. I could hardly catch my breath, tears were streaming down my face, and I was in peril of wetting the bed. As I was trying to speak, I could hardly be understood, and Roy was cracking up at my complete and utter breakdown and how much glee I was getting from my own perverse and random animal fart thoughts. The laughter and mayhem finally subsided, and we both drifted off to sleep, but remarks continued during the process of getting ready for work, and I'm sure new ones will come up as the days go by. I reiterated the story to my friend Johnny, who was cracking up and saying I had best get more sleep. He may be right, but it wouldn't be as much fun!
stupendous decisions upon first moving in--we ousted the cheap mattress and put in a Tempurpedic knock off. Not a cheap knock off, but nothing close to the exorbitant cost of the real thing. It's supportive but delicious when the warmth and weight of your body make it supple enough to mold around you. We also have a down comforter that keeps us warm and snuggly on cold winter nights, and is covered by my gorgeous (if I say so myself) prize winning purple and white quilt (not shown in the photo...will have to get one of it and repost when I have it in place). So it's a feast to the senses in that bedroom, a nice haven on a cold rainy blustery night, or a place to stretch out and read or be with your own thoughts. Small refuges like this are needed when one lives in a small space, especially with a spouse or partner. It avoids your having to rip out their hearts in stressful times.Now, one of the down sides is that when I wake up at 2:30 in the morning with twelve thousand things going through my mind, but I'm not in the mood to go do any of them because I don't want to get cold, I turn on my light and read for awhile. I always have a book or two, several magazines, and those little ad cards that are in magazines (and which really tick me off) under my pillows. And I have my glasses, several in fact ranging 2.0, 2.25, 2.5, 2.75, and usually 3.0, lying on a little shelf next to the bed. Now you might think well doesn't that bother Roy? Well, then you don't know Roy. Roy could sleep through a class 5 hurricane, a train wreck, the howling of banshees (or coyotes which often happens), or any number of disturbing events that would have me awake for the rest of the night. So usually, I am not being rude, as he doesn't even notice.
However, this morning was different. I awoke at a bit past 2 a.m. I laid there awhile hoping to go back to sleep, but when it became obvious that wasn't going to happen, I turned on the light, picked up my book and glasses and began to read. It wasn't long before Roy had gotten up and gone to the w.c. When he came back to bed, he was rather awake. At that time he told me his cousin had emailed him and had turned in a script/outline of a TV show to someone in Hollywood. It had been rejected but she had given him an outline of it. It was basically her life, but she had another kid who was a gay male child who was 6'6" tall. Roy surmised that it must be rough for a 6'6" gay man in the world. Because it was early in the morning, the conversation deteriorated from here.
He wondered aloud if the animal kingdom had gay animals. I said I thought most animals would just jump anything in proximity--just ask my Mom about Ernie and her foot or Sumie and Dusty's "girlfriend" pillow. I mean male dogs will hump anything any time, so does that make them gay or just horney? And I've seen those monkeys in travel adventure shows that just seem to be strolling along and then jump on another monkey and ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee, they're done! This reminds me of a couple of guys I've dated in my life...but I digress.
Well, at this point something clicked in my sick brain and these little movies started to play. I saw this big eyed bushy tailed raccoon with it's larger than life roly poly butt, standing upright with its little front paws insides facing forward sashaying through the forest. Raccoons have a propensity toward waddling rolling butts and steatopygia. This fits in perfectly with strutting and mincing steps of the gay raccoon in my mind. "What about a gay raccoon, can't you just see him strutting his little flaming self through the forest, saying "hey anyone have any nuts?" and the rest of the raccoons giving him mean looks?" And what about a gay skunk. But then why would anyone want to have a relationship with a skunk?
Do skunks mind how they smell? If I smelled like that I sure wouldn't want anyone near me much less thinking about sex. It would be "Get the hell away from me...I stink". Roy says maybe they treat the stench poofs like humans do farts. It's annoying but kinda funny, so they make bad jokes about it. "Wow, do you have to do that inside?" "Next time you better go outside if you're going to let loose like that." "Hey, pull my paw...hehehehe." Many years ago I had a brief but delightful encounter with a gentleman from Mississippi, an arts and theatre teacher who adored big women and was amazingly fun, virile and romantic. He told me of an uncle of his who had a recliner for about 25 years. It was way past its prime, but a new one was not to be tolerated. So when he finally passed into the next realm of his recliner life, his aunt had him and a cousin tote it out of the living room and into the cousin's truck to take to the dump. He said when they took the cushion off, he smelled just like ol' uncle's farts. SO my mind went to the Skunk Family home and ..."Hey don't do that in my chair. Uncle Stinky did that all the time and when he died and we had to take the chair to the dump, it smelled like skunky stench!" The sleep starved mind deteriorated from there to "I wonder if when they get old if they're like those old people who walk through the market going putt putt putt down the aisles, and they just walk through the forest going poof poof poof as their little stinky sphincters wear out too? "
By now I was in complete and utter hysteria. I could hardly catch my breath, tears were streaming down my face, and I was in peril of wetting the bed. As I was trying to speak, I could hardly be understood, and Roy was cracking up at my complete and utter breakdown and how much glee I was getting from my own perverse and random animal fart thoughts. The laughter and mayhem finally subsided, and we both drifted off to sleep, but remarks continued during the process of getting ready for work, and I'm sure new ones will come up as the days go by. I reiterated the story to my friend Johnny, who was cracking up and saying I had best get more sleep. He may be right, but it wouldn't be as much fun!
